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“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.

You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.

The former acknowledges that the child already figured out the problem, but is still comforting.

When redirecting behavior, it is difficult to know how to phrase things in the best manner.

Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.

Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.

We often try to teach lesson to kids about life at the most inappropriate times.

If a child gets hurt because they were doing something dangerous or inappropriate, they already learned their lesson.

Kids hear the word “no” far too frequently (Read more about that here).Telling a child that they can’t do something makes them prove that they can, by telling you or showing you that it is in fact possible.Telling a kid to not do something makes them want to argue or rebel.It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.

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By the time a child has gotten in trouble for something, they already feel guilty, sorry and embarrassed about it.